public: holiday traditions. or not.
yes, i've been quite ponder-y (ponderous, you say?) of late. this just means that those of you who've missed me due to me going quiet and then locking all past posts have plenty, right?
i've been thinking about the holidays, as many of us do this time of year.
it seems holidays are rife with traditions, and those traditions are what make them special for most people.
and that i've ended up not being one of the "most people."
holiday decorations: as a kid, i am pretty sure i loved holiday decorations because they were all part of the magic. a visible reminder and sign of the impending tasty food and presents (as a poor kid, any time i wanted anything all through the year, i was told to save that desire for my Christmas or birthday list....and then would feel surprised and giddy at the few things from that list that i got). as a pre-teen, i attempted to orchestrate grand decorating schemes to prolong the magic i felt slipping away. and that was usually a disappointing pain in my bum. i don't hate decorations. but they have no magic for me. and i haven't got the money or energy or interest to do my own decorating. so that tradition? not one of mine. nary a tree nor red bow will be put up here.
holiday meals: ah, the grand holiday meal. what most build their thanksgiving around and what caps many a Christmas day. to be honest, i do enjoy a little turkey, and i love mashed potatoes & gravy, as well as pumpkin desserts. but i think that sort of thing ought to happen year-round. and i am hugely averse to the big effort that goes into those meals. i mean, i'll do some effort. but not that. one of the smartest things my mum did, when she realised no one cared about Christmas dinner, was to stop making it. instead, she substituted with an all-day buffet of foods we didn't get the rest the year (cookies, crisps, dips, and so forth). this was a brilliant idea. until people started to expect certain things to show up each year. and new things seemed to be added to that list every couple of years. so that, whilst it doesn't take as long, it is now expectations instead of the no-expectations fun of years gone by. it's still tasty, but it's hard not to lose a little fun when someone will be gutted if a particular cookie is missing.
holiday breakups: you know, i'd rather be dumped than be spending a holiday with someone who doesn't really want to be with me still. even if they are faking it well. if you think we're over, let's be over. and i'll do the same for you. give us both a head start on moving on. who knows but we might meet our better match (or be consoled by the friend who's a better match) at some holiday soiree. besides, when i look back, i'd rather be single than be with someone who didn't want me and was maybe cheating on me. give me a chance to not give you the gift i bought. let me get my crying done on a day i don't have to work. (though, you know, if it's over on a work day, don't save it for a holiday....ha!) end it whilst there is easy access to lots of tasty food for some unhealthy emotional eating. (really. you're just one more excuse to indulge in what i want to indulge in. yeah!) don't care what day it is. let's be over when we're over. i know a lot of you will very much disagree with me....later on, i'll consider it a lovely gift, if the future is like the past. (note: no one is planning to dump me. that i know of. i'm just thinking of holiday traditions here...)
holiday travel: this has nothing to do with family. i love my family. i miss my family. they are a mess, and i cherish that mess. but....travel. ugh. crowded airports and planes full of germ-ridden travellers. roads sleek with rain, snow, and/or ice. traffic jams. hate that. hate it. sleeping in a familiar bed, waking when i want (especially when i had a job and the sleep was extra precious), blearily wandering into a familiar kitchen in my underwear to grab the food i expect, and then sitting around all day in said underwear? yeah.....
holiday cards: i don't mind receiving cards. though it did take the sentimentalist and packrat in me a while to get good at appreciating the love and then recycling the card that delivered said love. but sending them....i'll be honest, it started to feel mandatory and it sucked the joy out. and that's so un-holiday to me.
holiday gifts: when i have no money, i *might* use a holiday as an excuse to buy you something. though, really, i'm more about gifts as they present themselves. and, like cards, they start to feel expected. i love getting gifts (tiny things or big, i don't care....i just appreciate the sentiment and the thoughtfulness of a gift given sincerely). but i don't want gifts out of obligation. and i refuse to give such gifts.
so, what are the holidays to me?
aside from a day off work when i have a job, of course. and the sleeping in that comes with that.
if i get to spend the time with people i care about (especially family, chosen or biological) and get to eat some tasty food, i'm good.
holidays the last year or so have been the best ever.
sure, i miss my biological family.
but i spent them with my favourite family ever. (do i even need to say whom i mean?)
and we made or went out for tasty food each time.
and built a computer.
and played video games.
and slept in.
and those were the best thanksgiving, Christmas, new years, and birthdays ever.
i hope that, as you ramp up for your holidays, you can make sure you're not letting tradition get in the way of joy. traditions, in my mind, ought only stay if they are adding to joy. give yourself that gift this year.
and if you give yourself the gift of a breakup, feel free to blame me when your ex wails at you, asking you how you could think to do that to them on a holiday. and when your kids or spouse bemoan some lacking decoration or treat, invite them to do it themselves and enjoy that part of the tradition. and when you don't give me a gift, know that i totally don't even notice. because chances are i know how you feel about me anyway and i don't need a gift to prove it.
(however, if you'd like to give me a gift, i'm sure i could point you at all sorts of ridiculous little items. or at my tiny bank account. ha!)
now, i just have to survive 2 more months of Christmas music in stores.
do not get me started on Christmas music. because outside singing a few particular songs at church, i really could do without.
until i do an awesome cover someday as a b-side. then, i encourage you all to love Christmas music.
ps the doctor who Christmas special may continue to be a tradition. i have nothing to say against that.
seriously.
Current Mood: 
calm & contemplative, as usualCurrent Music: silence...i am seriously addicted to the quiet lately.... 
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